Tantrums

When you’re 24 years old, you’re expected, at the very least, to act mature. I’m very ashamed to say that yesterday, I acted like a surly, selfish brat. I feel sorry now and hopefully, it won’t happen again. (But I kind of doubt it.)

This was what happened.

My favorite cousin, whom I haven’t seen in ages, was at home because it was our lolo’s (grandfather) birthday the other day. We basically spent the whole day being lazy. We woke up late and spent the afternoon watching movies.

My mother came home at around 4pm. And she was rather mad that I hadn’t done any housework. It didn’t feel fair that I get a lashing out when my younger brother had spent the ENTIRE DAY in front of the computer and my father spent the afternoon drinking Tuba (coconut wine).

So I kind of lost my temper.

By losing my temper, I meant silently storming out of the house to clean our backyard. I even climbed the roof to get rid of all the leaves. After doing that, I entered through the kitchen door and folded the laundry. Then I washed all the dirty dishes and pans, and swept the floor.

My father said I should lose my temper more often.

Wild thoughts flew inside my head as I cleaned. I thought of just quitting medical school for a year and work so that I’d be able to pay for my tuition out of my own pocket. I didn’t like feeling like a burden to my parents anymore. I felt that part of the reason my mother was always griping was that she was having a hard time finding money for my incredibly expensive medical education. And the fact that I failed to keep my grades up and get a scholarship (I had promised to get that scholarship) did not help matters.

When I had cooled down a bit, I began to feel shame creeping in.

My mother is working sooo hard. And all she gets in return is a lazy daughter who couldn’t even keep the house nice and clean.

I’ll really try to change my lazy ways. My mother doesn’t really expect a lot. She just expects us to help, even a little. And I’m not doing that. Shame on me. I’m a terrible daughter.

So. Now I’m going to log off and sweep and mop the floor a little. And hopefully, she’ll feel better.